


Inter-dimensional Diplomacy

by Zethsaire



Category: Marvel 616, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Hood: Lost Days, Under the Red Hood, Young Avengers
Genre: Alien Biology, Alien Gender/Sexuality, Aliens, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Other, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Xeno, Xenophilia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-06 00:01:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6728587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zethsaire/pseuds/Zethsaire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wherein Noh-Varr shows Red Hood how the Kree Empire negotiates.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inter-dimensional Diplomacy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DangerousCommieSubversive](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DangerousCommieSubversive/gifts).



> This is pretty much just porn I wrote for Commie's birthday last year.

“You're an alien, huh? I've fucked aliens before.”

“Really, what kind?”

“Well, Koriand'r, - she's Tamaranean and nobody is that gay, some Alstairans, a Dominator, that was fun; Grixian, Qarians – totally worth the breathing device, probably some others.” Jason said off hand.

“Mmm. A decent selection. However, you have never fucked me.” Noh-Varr leaned over on Jason's motorcycle, licking up Jason's ear. “Kree ambassadors are bred for war and seduction. We do whatever it takes to get the job done.”

“Oh yeah? Like fucking the local crime lord?”

“The local crime lord who gave me a chance to explain myself and also seemed to understand the tech that brought me here. Yes.”

“And you're sure you're not just distracted by my ass?”

“It is a nice ass, as such things go,” Noh-Varr mused.

“Well then get on, and we'll take you for a test drive.”

Noh-Varr smirked. “And then you'll help me get home?”  
“Or I'll just keep you. That'd drive Bruce crazy.”

Noh-Varr got on the bike behind him without a helmet, and laughed as Jason took off speeding down the road like a maniac.

They were at a safe house, parked, with Jason's hands up his shirt in less than ten minutes. Noh-Varr looked around the place in-between seeing how far he could stick his tongue down Jason's throat (quite far,) and saw that it was most likely not one of Jason's primary safe houses. The dust, for one thing, suggested infrequent use, and it was very clean – too clean. Though Jason did have an impressive collection of weapons against one wall that Noh-Varr definitely wanted to get a look at later, and there was a desk/workshop against another wall covered in parts of advanced machinery and circuitry that he definitely needed to look at.  
But first things first.

Jason practically shoved him down on the mattress on the floor, covered in clean sheets (Noh-Varr's nose was very sensitive) and quilts, only the top of which was a bit dusty. Jason himself was eager and skilled, his hands quickly learning all of Noh-Varr's sensitive places, and he relished in finding each new one.

Noh-Varr, for his part, was loud and lustful, moaning in a deep, vibrating purr every time Jason found something he liked. He hadn't lied, he had been built for sex, and his people took sex very seriously. Noh-Varr could never produce offspring, but he could and did bring pleasure to any being he involved himself with. It was a point of pride.

“Aren't you going to take you clothes off?” He asked at one point, when he was dangerously close to coming without re-routing all the extra sensation.

“Thought I'd mess you up a bit first,” Jason grinned darkly. “My – well, I'm on a lot of meds, and my stuff doesn't work that well so I won't be able to get it up more than once. But you will, won't you?”

“Of course.”

Jason's grin turned feral. “Well, come then.”

So Noh-Varr stopped his control techniques, and came all over his own clothes and Jason's in a mess of fluid and a reverberating scream. He whimpered when Jason knelt down and licked him clean.

“Every alien has a different taste, you know. Well, humans do too, but it's all sort of similar. Aliens – it's just so alien. It's good. You taste good.”

Noh-Varr chuckled. Apparently he wasn't the only one drunk on his orgasm.

“Undress me,” Jason said huskily. “At least down to my under armor. I'll have to disarm that.”

So Noh-Varr did – with his teeth. Jason seemed to like that, especially when it came to the ridiculous number of belt buckles Jason seemed to have on his boots. Noh-Varr also got to see the arsenal that Jason was carrying around, set carefully aside on the floor, guns loaded with the safety on, knives handle-towards Jason just in case he needed them. It was that, even more than the sight of Jason peeling himself out of his flexible, interlocking under-armor (which Noh-Varr really, really needed to look at later,) that got him hard again.

“You like that huh? Yeah, I see you checking out my guns.” Jason snickered. “Why don't you come over here and suck my cock instead?”

Noh-Varr obliged him willingly, his hands coming up to grip Jason's very nice ass, a sly grin on his face as he sucked Jason down.

“Aw yeah. Fuck, you weren't kidding, you were made for sex.”

Noh-Varr smirked as much as he could. There were a variety of theories as to why many male alien species had penises – all shaped slightly differently of course, and sometimes more than one, but all the general shape and size of a penis. It helped that when Noh-Varr was aroused his throat coated with a slick substance and actually changed in texture to enhance pleasure. He was the height of Kree engineering. They had spared no expense on him.

“Mmmmm...that's good. But. You can stop now.”

Noh-Varr might have pouted a bit as he reluctantly let Jason out of his mouth.

“Don't give me that look, I've got plans for you.”

Those plans included finding out how to take Noh-Varr apart. He'd already found all of Noh-Varr's normal hot spots, and now he seemed to be interested in mapping out all his aliens ones as well, with his tongue.

“Oooh, what's that?” Jason asked, when Noh-Varr shuddered and bucked underneath him as Jason's tongue swept over one of his s'lolatie.

“Ah, it's ah – ah!” Noh-Varr was having a difficult time talking.

“Uh-huh. Does that mean this is 'ah' too?” Jason asked, finding the corresponding match on the other side of Noh-Varr's spine.

“Ah!”

“Apparently so. And if I touch both of them like this -”

“AAH!”

“Hmm. Well, I don't think I can touch all six but if I spread my fingers like this and I just -”

Noh-Varr ground down into the mattress and came screaming again. All Kree's s'lolatie were sensitive, but his were enhanced for optimum performance. And Jason was – quite optimal.

Jason settled down on top of him, his hips grinding slightly into Noh-Varr's own as he ran his fingers through Noh-Varr's hair. “You got any more in you?”

“Ah – of – of course.”

“Mmm. Any more hidden secrets? Or should I just fuck you senseless the Earth way?”

There was – that – of course but. Noh-Varr didn't usually tell anyone about that on a first encounter. Or ever, really. It was quite private, and a little embarrassing. It was hardly standard Kree anatomy after all. It served no biological purpose other than to pleasure someone. But Jason was a capable lover, and perhaps -

“Stroke my hands. They are – sensitive. And then, if you have aroused me enough; um. Between my legs it – there isn't really a word for it in your language, I.”

Jason chuckled and it sent sparks down Noh-Varr's spine. “How about I just find out?”

“Mmmm.”

Jason made love to Noh-Varr's hands. There was no other way to explain it. He explored every finger, rubbing his own hands across them, licking each one, grinning at how much Noh-Varr groaned when he took them in his mouth. He paid attention to the pads of Noh-Varr's fingers, and his palms, and wrists, until Noh-Varr was writhing in pleasure.

A twinge, a pulse, and a rush of fluid signaled that Jason had done it, had unlocked the secret to Noh-Varr's design.

“J-J- nnnnnghn.”

“Mm? Did I do it? Let's go see, shall we?”

Jason reached a hand between Noh-Varr's legs, along his cock, then behind his balls and into the slit that awaited him. “You're – you have?”

“It's not – not biological. It just. I only. Sometimes I -” It really was most embarrassing.

“Don't worry, I'm not judging. I wouldn't care if it was biological.”

“'S just for pleasure.”

“Then – will you let me pleasure you?”

“Please.”

“Do I need lube or?”

Noh-Varr shook his head. “I uh. Make my own.”

“Any particular position the most comfortable for you?”

“Um. My back. Unless you don't want to look at me?”

“Hey, hey, don't be like that. You've got nothing to be embarrassed about okay?”

“Okay.”

Jason turned him over carefully, and kissed him, slipping more fingers between his slit, to see how deep it went. Jason actually moaned into Noh-Varr's mouth as he explored. “This is so awesome, you have no idea,” he said, and then he actually knelt between Noh-Varr's legs and licked and -

“Ah! Ah, aaaaah, what are you uuh, uuh, oh, ah fuck, fuck.”

Jason stopped for a moment and looked up at him, mouth dripping with Noh-Varr's -

“No one has done this for you before? Really?”

Noh-Varr shook his head mutely.

“Hm. Their loss.”

By the time Jason finally entered him, it didn't hurt at all. Not that anything could really hurt Noh-Varr unless he wanted it to but he didn't even have to reroute the pain, because there wasn't any. He was just delirious and half-drunk from pleasure, and Jason felt so good inside of him, and by the sounds Jason was making, he was enjoying it too.

Jason made him come twice more before finally coming himself with a shout and a moan, shuddering for nearly a minute before carefully extracting himself and then sinking down on the mattress beside Noh-Varr.  
“That was fucking intense,” he said after some time had passed. “Man, I want a cigarette. Good sex always makes me want a smoke. But I'm supposed to be quitting. And you're warm.”

“Mmm.” Noh-Varr agreed, already more than half asleep. Jason was warm, as well.

Jason rooted around on the floor and picked up his shirt, which he used to clean up the worst of the mess before pulling the blankets up and around them. “I think I could actually get some sleep now. You have no idea how amazing that is.”

“...” Noh-Varr couldn't keep his eyes open, much less reply.

Jason wasn't offended though, he just chuckled again, and kissed Noh-Varr on the forehead, ruffled his hair a bit, and curled up against Noh-Varr's chest.

“I think I will keep you, after all.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments give me life!


End file.
